It has been a while since my last post. This was a combination of two things, firstly I had a busy few weeks in my personal life, but secondly because of the recent increase in traffic I have been feeling like I want to make a really good post, something really insightful, therefore when I would get ideas for posts, I would question them… ‘is this really good enough to put up’, and I would often answer no. In this situation the search for perfection, was holding me back; so I began to consider where else this may apply to life, and realized it occurs in many areas.
I began to look at the reasons behind why I wanted a perfect post and came to the realization that the real root motivation was fear; fear of posting something that would have people say ‘wow that was a waste of my time, why did I read that?’, or that it would be ‘worse’ then my other posts; thus I was somewhat unable to act because of these feelings of fear. I began to think how the fear was a fear of not being good enough, that the next post I made would be inadequate. This lead me to think of where specific examples when fear has held me back in the past and the present. Here are a few quick examples:
In the fall I played a few indoor soccer games with my two friends, I wasnt officially on the team, but I filled in whenever they knew they were going to be shorthanded. It was a fairly skilled team, so I felt nervous about my own skill level because I didnt want to disappoint my friends or let down the team. This nervousness lead to fear of making mistakes and being inadequate. Once this fear was in place I never made any risky plays, over thought my moves, and was generally nervous. All these things led to me playing worse then I usually would, I was acting reserved, holding back, which when playing a quick game like indoor soccer is detrimental to over all play. So it was the fear of inadequacy that held me back, if I had been confident in my abilities and not worried I would have played much better.
Another example is from my classroom experiences at University. There are many times when I will know the answer to questions, or at least be 90% sure of the answer, and yet not answer it, because of the fear of being wrong.
I got a little off topic, but its an interesting area to explore, all of the things that we are missing out on because we fear doing them. Maybe its that project at work that you are not sure you can tackle, or that girl in your book club that you’ve had your eye on for a while, it could really be anything. The longer we let fear hold us back, the longer we will be thinking of what could be, instead of living in that reality. I am getting a little philosophical here, but my point is that if something is really worth pursuing, there is most likely a chance that failure will ensue. These chances have to be taken, its the life experience (whether it is a success or a failure) that we get out of these events that really make a difference, and help to shape our futures.
If it is worth doing, it most certainly is worth failing at. I try not to think of the failures that might happen, but instead think of the lessons taht I’ll learn (even in failure), I also think of the the rewards I’ll receive in success.
–Steve
Failure is but another vessel where knowledge can flow.
